Cheering Section

Encouragement

The game is on. The kids are on the field; you are excited but you don’t know what to say. But even if you did, will they hear you? You bet they do. Most kids are very aware of what you do and say on the sidelines. Some kids even complain when their parents socialize too much and don’t pay attention to the game.

Children rely heavily on the external feedback they receive from adults. A child’s perception of herself comes from the reactions of parents and coaches. Even just a few comments from the sidelines can determine if a child’s experience is positive or negative. This is why it’s important for parents and coaches to learn how to provide encouragement and feedback.

It seems that no matter how a child plays parents and coaches are saying ‘great game’ or ‘nice play’. The positive energy and attitude is a good thing. However, you must be careful how you direct it.

Kids are not stupid. A child’s capacity to judge what he does improves with age and he knows when you are shouting false praise. Kids respect honest comments that are constructive and don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Kids want to improve their skills and value good information. Constructive comments and good positive feedback also show your child that you know what’s going on, and that you are paying attention.

For example, put yourself in their shoes. What do they want to hear? Let’s say you just sanded and re-stained your mother’s antique chest. It’s awful and you know it, but everyone is telling you how nice it looks. Either they’re lying or they don’t know what they are talking about. It may be polite, but deep inside it’s really hard to appreciate either.